Selfless

In A Way of Life (1984), Jim Ede writes that, were it not for T.E. Lawrence’s example, he could never have ‘given away’ Kettle’s Yard. This he did in 1966, donating the collection and house to the University of Cambridge. The handover proved to be a protracted, and bureaucratic affair that caused Ede considerable distress. What was it about Lawrence, long dead by then, that inspired Ede to persevere? What did such a monumental act of giving signify for Ede, and how did the memory of his friend help him to accomplish it?

Lawrence had a unique manner of self-sacrifice, and lived very frugally. He, like Ede, often gave away money to friends that he could well have spent himself. But what exactly did he give away that equated to Ede giving away Kettle’s Yard? He tried to give away fame, but was obliged to use his influence to get the sort of life he wanted – he even threatened suicide, apparently, to be allowed back into the RAF as an enlisted man. Both Ede and Lawrence struggled to be allowed to do things they believed to be good and selfless.

Ede sent Lawrence money towards a new motorbike just months before he died. Source: Western Morning News

Selfless. A word to get stuck on. We use it to mean the opposite of selfish, but it also suggests an absence of self. Ede’s relationship to Kettle’s Yard has been described as that of a mother’s to a child, but even that level of separation may be too much. Jim lived in Kettle’s Yard. Read one way, that’s a simple statement of fact. Read another, it’s a psychological and philosophical judgement. Did he give part of himself away in 1966, or even most of himself? If so, he may have done it because he felt compelled to commit an act not so much of selflessness as self-abnegation; exactly what commentators say Lawrence was doing when he first entered the ranks of the RAF.